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Thread: I've decided to kill myself

  1. #1
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    Default I've decided to kill myself

    I cannot live this misery any longer. My life has alway been miserable. As a teen i suffered with Anorexia. That ruined my life for a few years. I had a few months of respite. Then I developed secere acnen That ruined my life for a few years. Then I had about a year of respite. Then i had very mild small area of rosacea. My life was still good. I eas so happy. Friends, a job i was going to keep, beauty.

    Then i got IPL that destroyed my face and triggered neurogenic rosacea. I can't go to work. Can't see friends. Can't get in a car. Can't go in the sun. Can't go to my sister's wedding. Can't be with a man.

    I am a severe burden to my family.

    My sister had a baby. My niece. I thought this meant that I must stay around, keep living. Now I realise this means I should die. A new life has come and my worthless, embarrassing, miserable, nuisance of a life must come to an end.

    I cannot live this misery anymore.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Brady Barrows's Avatar
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    You need help from friends, family or professionals. Rosacea has a psychological impact that emotionally can devastate your life, yet there is help for you. You are not alone and without hope. There are ways to treat rosacea and the psychological damage it causes. Do not give up. Get help.

    If you get help and get through this you can then help other rosacea sufferers with the same issue which is reciprocal. Rosaceans helping rosaceans.
    Last edited by Brady Barrows; 12th September 2020 at 12:59 PM.
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  3. #3
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    I was very, very close to suicide a little over a year ago due to neurogenic rosacea, so I know what you're feeling. There are medications that can help- what have you tried so far? Mirtazapine and hydroxychloroquine helped me a lot and currently I'm trying duloxetine. Lifestyle adjustments are important as well- do whatever you can to minimize stress (I know it's really difficult and almost seems impossible when you're flushing badly), eat an anti-inflammatory diet, don't eat too close to bedtime (I don't eat after 6pm), and avoid your triggers as best you can.

    To be honest I felt like I had to restructure my life when I got neurogenic rosacea. I got an accommodation to work from home, then I left my stressful corporate job, got back into my passions (visual art), got a less demanding job, and went to therapy weekly. I really simplified my life so that I could focus on my health and I leaned on my husband and my parents for emotional support. These days, the flushing can still be really bothersome, but for the most part I'm positive and enjoying life.

    I know that your family and friends want you around and I for one really want you to stick around too- those of us with neurogenic rosacea need to stick together and help each other find treatments and get through this. This site is a really good resource and there are many others on here that know what you're going through.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamoverton View Post
    I was very, very close to suicide a little over a year ago due to neurogenic rosacea, so I know what you're feeling. There are medications that can help- what have you tried so far? Mirtazapine and hydroxychloroquine helped me a lot and currently I'm trying duloxetine. Lifestyle adjustments are important as well- do whatever you can to minimize stress (I know it's really difficult and almost seems impossible when you're flushing badly), eat an anti-inflammatory diet, don't eat too close to bedtime (I don't eat after 6pm), and avoid your triggers as best you can.

    To be honest I felt like I had to restructure my life when I got neurogenic rosacea. I got an accommodation to work from home, then I left my stressful corporate job, got back into my passions (visual art), got a less demanding job, and went to therapy weekly. I really simplified my life so that I could focus on my health and I leaned on my husband and my parents for emotional support. These days, the flushing can still be really bothersome, but for the most part I'm positive and enjoying life.

    I know that your family and friends want you around and I for one really want you to stick around too- those of us with neurogenic rosacea need to stick together and help each other find treatments and get through this. This site is a really good resource and there are many others on here that know what you're going through.
    Being in anti depressants for the rest of my life doesn't sound like a real life for me. I'm scared of side effects on the psyche

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sineadrosy View Post
    Being in anti depressants for the rest of my life doesn't sound like a real life for me. I'm scared of side effects on the psyche
    Ok, well I'm on antidepressants and I'm still living a "real" life, whatever that means.
    Also, that wasn't the only possible solution I suggested to you. You are sounding a little resistant to help, which I understand, but it's going to block you from getting better if you don't learn to be open-minded. If you're finding that difficult, you might want to try seeing a therapist.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jamoverton View Post
    Ok, well I'm on antidepressants and I'm still living a "real" life, whatever that means.
    Also, that wasn't the only possible solution I suggested to you. You are sounding a little resistant to help, which I understand, but it's going to block you from getting better if you don't learn to be open-minded. If you're finding that difficult, you might want to try seeing a therapist.
    ? Wasn't trying to offend you. I took them before and they made me feel like crap hence why I said it wouldn't be a real life *for me*

    I appreciate yor initial response but unfortunately I've already made my mind up. I just made this ppst to get it off my chest.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sineadrosy View Post
    ? Wasn't trying to offend you. I took them before and they made me feel like crap hence why I said it wouldn't be a real life *for me*

    I appreciate yor initial response but unfortunately I've already made my mind up. I just made this ppst to get it off my chest.
    Sineadrosy,
    You are so important to everybody around you. There are so many different things that can help. Ignore any doctors who don?t know how to help and say nothing can be done. Everybody who is on here has gone through bad times but we have all helped each other so much.

  8. #8
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    I regularly feel like killing myself as I know things will not improve but only get worse.
    The reason i haven't is because i wouldn't want to put my family or partner through the pain of finding me.
    I don't work and as of late don't go out in public.
    I know i haven't been helpful but wanted to let you know there are others who feel the same

  9. #9
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    you should at least tell your family how you feel.Make an appointment to see a doctor

  10. #10
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    I feel the same some times. I'm on antidepressant and don't worry about secondary effects. And look, if You are decided to kill yourself, a bit of headache or gut pain is nothing in comparison with death. Try everything you can, everything. Antidepressant, antiflushing meds..etc. I know is hard to say "hey, I need help with my mental health" but if yo are in that situation, please, try it.

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