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Thread: suicide

  1. #1
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    Hi, my name is dave. Im 20 years old and i have been battling with rosacea for over 2 years. It completly destroyed my life. I used to be a lively, social and extremly outgoing guy. U loved sports (espesially swimming). However my condition became progressivly worse. First it was only the redness, but then the veins started appearing. I can do nothing without starting a flush. Two seconds into the sun (i used to love going outside and hiking) and my face starts getting red and the veins on my cheek start tingling and stinging. Due to the lcokdown ive become extremely obsessed with it and suicide is popping even more in my mind. I know to some it my seem stupid, buy i feel like i have nothing fun in my life anymore and nothing worth living for.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dave23 View Post
    Hi, my name is dave. Im 20 years old and i have been battling with rosacea for over 2 years. It completly destroyed my life. I used to be a lively, social and extremly outgoing guy. U loved sports (espesially swimming). However my condition became progressivly worse. First it was only the redness, but then the veins started appearing. I can do nothing without starting a flush. Two seconds into the sun (i used to love going outside and hiking) and my face starts getting red and the veins on my cheek start tingling and stinging. Due to the lcokdown ive become extremely obsessed with it and suicide is popping even more in my mind. I know to some it my seem stupid, buy i feel like i have nothing fun in my life anymore and nothing worth living for.
    Hi Dave,
    I know how difficult is because I have been there with a burning stinging face 24/7 and feeling like nobody understood the pain of it. My self-confidence also took a massive nose dive. This forum has been a life saver both in terms of education ( about what helps) and realising you are not alone. You have taken such an important first step in coming on here and being honest about your feelings.
    I am in a far better place than I was two years ago. I have used various medications at different times-all of which have helped-Amitriptyline, LDN, Duloxetine. The trick for me was to kill the nerve pain to stop the stinging and burning. Stay on here and other people will advise too and then you can make a decision about which therapies you want to try. Hang in there-help is here for you!
    Molly

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by dave23 View Post
    Hi, my name is dave. Im 20 years old and i have been battling with rosacea for over 2 years. It completly destroyed my life. I used to be a lively, social and extremly outgoing guy. U loved sports (espesially swimming). However my condition became progressivly worse. First it was only the redness, but then the veins started appearing. I can do nothing without starting a flush. Two seconds into the sun (i used to love going outside and hiking) and my face starts getting red and the veins on my cheek start tingling and stinging. Due to the lcokdown ive become extremely obsessed with it and suicide is popping even more in my mind. I know to some it my seem stupid, buy i feel like i have nothing fun in my life anymore and nothing worth living for.

    Dave dont think of stuff like that, il admit (im typing to you right now with a bright red nose) i have thought of it.

    Maybe its worth looking at using some form of make up?

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    It doesn't seem stupid at all, not to me, anyway. I've thought about it a lot, too. However, ultimately I couldn't bear the thought of what it would do to my family. Obviously I have no idea of your personal circumstances, but what I would say is you're very young: which is probably why your condition seems so bad, because you feel like it's depriving you of your best years; but at the same time, there is a long, long time for things to get better for you. And I sincerely believe they will.

    What treatments have you tried? What worked for me for years (Admittedly I've had a relapse recently) was high dose oxytetracyline. Now that isn't an option for everyone, I accept that. But gradually it took me from a place where I was actually going round various chemists stocking up on painkillers, to almost complete acceptance. I won't lie, my skin wasn't perfect, but it was vastly improved: I was no longer conscious of it to the extent that it ruled my life.

    Anyway my point isn't that oxytet is the right treatment for you, or even that you should consider it. Just that there are lots of possible treatments. And I sincerely believe that one of them will improve you sufficiently that you'll be able to get on with your life. Hang in there, please. This stupid condition just isn't worth it. You can beat it. I know you can. Hell I did for a time and I'm weak as ****.

    Seriously though, just keep going, day by day. Find little things that make you happy. Try and forget, just for minutes at a time. You'll make it. I know you will.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Brady Barrows's Avatar
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    Dave,
    You have found the correct forum, RF, which has an incredible amount of help for your rosacea to get it under control. While it has been established beyond belief that rosacea exacerbates psychological issues, it may be wise for you to seek professional help for emotional support so you can then concentrate on healing your dermatological issues methodically. RF, as you can see by the posters above me, is empathetic to your emotional plight struggling with having to deal with such an ugly appearance but you are not the only Rosacean who has dealt with this. The data contained in RF is massive and covers just about anything rosacea if you have the hutzpah to search for a way to get control of your rosacea. Are you seeing a dermatologist about this and mentioned your emotional pain you are suffering? While you may see the rosacea as your biggest issue, you may want to focus right now on getting help psychologically to deal with this as many have done. It is a wise person who seeks help as you have done posting here at RF, but it takes more wisdom to recognize you may be struggling with even a bigger issue than rosacea which is in your mind. Seek professional help for you emotional stability so you can then tackle the rosacea beast.
    Brady Barrows
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    Quote Originally Posted by dave23 View Post
    Hi, my name is dave. Im 20 years old and i have been battling with rosacea for over 2 years. It completly destroyed my life. I used to be a lively, social and extremly outgoing guy. U loved sports (espesially swimming). However my condition became progressivly worse. First it was only the redness, but then the veins started appearing. I can do nothing without starting a flush. Two seconds into the sun (i used to love going outside and hiking) and my face starts getting red and the veins on my cheek start tingling and stinging. Due to the lcokdown ive become extremely obsessed with it and suicide is popping even more in my mind. I know to some it my seem stupid, buy i feel like i have nothing fun in my life anymore and nothing worth living for.
    Just a heads up. I was given Trazodone for pain and it actually triggered suicidal thoughts to the point of me going through with it. I found out there is 600 law suits against the drug in America and itís been banned in some countries because of this side affect.. So the nice pharmaceutical company sells it the good old NHS.
    So having been there I first suggest you take COD liver oil. It has been shown to our preform antidepressants in medical studies. Second look into a LDN. It hasnít helped my skin yet but it has helped me with energy and mood. Plus for you who knows it may improve your skin. Second get some good hats and get out regardless. I struggle to even wash my face it reacts to everything on top of that I have burning Mouth and lips. But Iím not gonna stop it living my life. Iíve took up photography and stated painting again. Stress can be a big factor so try and find a hobby. Even something like Lego building ( keeps my hubby sane) Don't let rosacea take over your life .

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by dave23 View Post
    Hi, my name is dave. Im 20 years old and i have been battling with rosacea for over 2 years. It completly destroyed my life. I used to be a lively, social and extremly outgoing guy. U loved sports (espesially swimming). However my condition became progressivly worse. First it was only the redness, but then the veins started appearing. I can do nothing without starting a flush. Two seconds into the sun (i used to love going outside and hiking) and my face starts getting red and the veins on my cheek start tingling and stinging. Due to the lcokdown ive become extremely obsessed with it and suicide is popping even more in my mind. I know to some it my seem stupid, buy i feel like i have nothing fun in my life anymore and nothing worth living for.
    Hi Dave- I've been there so I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. Last summer I was VERY close to suicide due to a sudden onset of debilitating facial flushing. It's been less than a year later and I am in a much better place due to medications, going to therapy, and making some life changes that helped me adapt to living with this condition. As far as medications, I got pretty much all of my info on this forum. The doctors I saw weren't helpful at all unfortunately.

    Here are the meds that helped me: mirtazapine (flushing while sleeping was a problem for me initially), hydroxychloroquine, beta-blockers (for social events), and an azelaic acid/metronidazole/ivermectin combo topical cream. As for lifestyle adjustments- I left my stressful corporate job to start freelancing so I can make my own schedule (not everyone can do this but I do recommend reducing stress in any way you can). Also, I eat an anti-inflammatory diet but I never really found many food triggers despite multiple elimination diets- still, that's something you can experiment with as well as it seems to help a lot of people.

  8. #8
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    Hi Dave,
    This community has given me so much hope and more importantly actual improvement. I have only discovered this forum a couple months ago and I could already feel a difference in my rosacea symptoms. Don't give up, when you improve you will be happy you didn't give up.

    In the search box I only wanted to look through threads from people with the same symptoms as I had, then the same flushing triggers, and then the same redness area of my face. I know the search box misses a lot of keywords but i kept digging through. I spent many days doing this. It can be overwhelming so I don't recommend trying everything at once. But try to read about people's journeys who have your same rosacea story (same triggers especially). Start doing one thing at a time and please take breaks from thinking about your rosacea and even the forum so you don't obsess about it. The quarantine made things worse for me too. Most people leave the forum and never come back so that is already evident that people recover (to some extent) where they don't feel the need to come back on the forum. Don't give up!

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