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Thread: Suicide

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinyDancer View Post
    I can definitely relate to that. It completely changes our personality and that is difficult to deal with. I was so happy five months ago. Now, sad, afraid to be out of the home by myself, afraid to drive or even take public transit, not living my dancing life, and I am angry with a shorter fuse because of my anger at the dermatologist, galderma (and all the heartless people I spoke to there), health canada, the fda, everyone responsible for this drug being improperly prescribed without informed consent, all the people that are uneducated about science and think crooked pharmaceutical companies actually utilize proper scientific methods, when they are crooked money grubbing companies that think human lives are like the dirt on their shoes.

    Hey TinyDancer, I'm sorry to hear about your struggle with Rosacea, as I can relate to everything you're saying. I do find it interesting however, how differently we view Mirvaso. I started using it when my rosacea got bad and to be honest, its the one medication I could literally not live without. My skin is worse in the mornings after showering and putting on my other topical medications. Mirvaso calms down my skin and makes me look normal in the mornings and by the time it wears off, my skin has calmed down some so it's not as red. Also, when my skin is really bad with either papules or flushing, I use it for touch ups throughout the day and it gives me some degree of relief. What have you read as far as Miravaso causing rosacea?? You are not the first person I've heard mention this, though it's surprising to me since I feel like it's the only medication I've used that gives an immediate benefit. Once again, I know how you feel and can relate to what you've said since I too have only had rosacea now for a short while. Getting use to my new life has been tough and I constantly wonder if I'll ever get back the life that has been taken from me since it started. I wish you all the best

  2. #22
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    I'm glad that it's helping and not hurting you. I didn't have rosacea. I was wrongly prescribed it. I didn't hmalfunctionave any facial redness. It constricted my blood vessels too small for 48 hours. This led to chronic severe trigeminal nerve pain and eye pain. My body was trying so hard to get blood flow to my face that it caused a vasomotor malfunction all through my face and head which led to more chronic pain. I had clear, beautiful skin. I was a dancer. That was six months ago. I haven't recovered. I have to be on a strict diet. That injured my gut microbiome. So, more diet restrictions now. I'm just surviving now. Not living. I can't live the life I was living before mirvaso. I also developed severe cystic acne and my face is scarred now. I'm in chonic pain now. It's difficult to live with and to feel happy. I lost my life. And to make matters worse there is a jerk online that doesn't believe me, mocks my injury, and tells me I don't belong in rosacea groups unless I say I will never recover. But, I still believe I can maybe recover.

    Just be sure it's actually helping. And not just helping you cope with a worsened condition. Mirvaso caused me a vasomotor malfunction (flushing disorder), chronic nerve pain, mast cell immune disorder in my face, inflammation, and more. I spoke to people online that thought it was helping, and they realized it was actually the cause of their worsened condition.
    Last edited by TinyDancer; 12th February 2016 at 07:35 AM.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by aafdup View Post
    I pretty much have the idea every day, but then I think about how I would do it and basically become a coward thinking about the pain - or failing. This disease sucks, it's changed my entire personality and outlook on life. I can now only think back to my days before it and how I will never be able to do those things I did before - or at least without always having to see my face and how it is reacting.

    Some days I feel I look okay enough to go out, others I want to never leave my apartment. But I have to come to work... it sucks. I always keep my head down and avoid eye contact and that was never me even as little as 8 months ago before all this started in July. I'm not bi-polar but it's like this disease makes you that way. Your mood goes up and down with how you feel your skin looks. Mine isn't getting any better.... but I can't seem to pinpoint specific triggers. I just always have this base-line pinkness across my cheeks and nose but today it's more red right now.


    Our stories are a lot alike aafdup. My rosacea started not too long ago as well and I am finding it very hard to deal with. On bad days I keep wondering why I continue living like this. I have found a few people to confide in, which has helped some, but they all seem to think I'm just vain and that it's not that big of a deal, which I can't stand. I just want to do the activities I did before. I want to be able to go out with friends and not have to worry about changing colors at a moments notice. I want to go on vacations with people like I use to, but now because I hide what I look like when I'm getting ready and after showers, there is no way I could comfortably go on vacations with others. I'm also recently single and have to enter the dating scene again. I use Mirvaso which gets me through the date most of the time but I'm always afraid it will wear off or I'll flush through it and they will see how ugly I can get. I feel like I've been spending the majority of my time alone in hiding. I read about how some people's rosacea can 'burn out' and I read people's posts about how they found something that 'cured' them. I am hoping that I can eventually have my own success story and that all of this will have been a wonderful learning experience, but then I realize this will likely never happen and I am doomed to continue this current course. Most days I don't know what to do. My life is no longer my own

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinyDancer View Post
    I'm glad that it's helping and not hurting you. I didn't have rosacea. I was wrongly prescribed it. I didn't hmalfunctionave any facial redness. It constricted my blood vessels too small for 48 hours. This led to chronic severe trigeminal nerve pain and eye pain. My body was trying so hard to get blood flow to my face that it caused a vasomotor malfunction all through my face and head which led to more chronic pain. I had clear, beautiful skin. I was a dancer. That was six months ago. I haven't recovered. I have to be on a strict diet. That injured my gut microbiome. So, more diet restrictions now. I'm just surviving now. Not living. I can't live the life I was living before mirvaso. I also developed severe cystic acne and my face is scarred now. I'm in chonic pain now. It's difficult to live with and to feel happy. I lost my life. And to make matters worse there is a jerk online that doesn't believe me, mocks my injury, and tells me I don't belong in rosacea groups unless I say I will never recover. But, I still believe I can maybe recover.

    Just be sure it's actually helping. And not just helping you cope with a worsened condition. Mirvaso caused me a vasomotor malfunction (flushing disorder), chronic nerve pain, mast cell immune disorder in my face, inflammation, and more. I spoke to people online that thought it was helping, and they realized it was actually the cause of their worsened condition.

    Hey TinyDancer, I am so sorry to hear about what happened to you. What a sad story. Thank you for sharing. I hope that this condition will eventually subside for you. The body has an amazing way of healing itself. Even nerve damage is reversible to a degree.

    Unfortunately, I'm practically addicted to Mirvaso at this point. I have been using it for almost a year and a half and it's the only thing that makes me look normal before going out or when I try to attend social events. It makes me nervous that it may be worsening my condition but it gives me some degree of control over the redness (at least for a portion of the day) which I find comforting. I hope that someday my face will to be so labile, so that I do not need all the topical and oral medications that I'm currently taking, but this is just a pipe dream. For now I'm miserable most of the day, either because my face looks horrible or because I'm afraid it will at some point during the day

  5. #25
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    Thank you!

    Hugs!

    Cosmetic issues on our faces are real issues. People that say it's cosmetic are not using empathy because it would definitely be difficult for them to develop a face disorder. My face is scarred now. I had perfect skin before mirvaso. Plus it's so painful. It's not just cosmetic. I can't have a single second without face pain now (Mirvaso caused that).

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by SBD1212 View Post
    Our stories are a lot alike aafdup. My rosacea started not too long ago as well and I am finding it very hard to deal with. On bad days I keep wondering why I continue living like this. I have found a few people to confide in, which has helped some, but they all seem to think I'm just vain and that it's not that big of a deal, which I can't stand. I just want to do the activities I did before. I want to be able to go out with friends and not have to worry about changing colors at a moments notice. I want to go on vacations with people like I use to, but now because I hide what I look like when I'm getting ready and after showers, there is no way I could comfortably go on vacations with others. I'm also recently single and have to enter the dating scene again. I use Mirvaso which gets me through the date most of the time but I'm always afraid it will wear off or I'll flush through it and they will see how ugly I can get. I feel like I've been spending the majority of my time alone in hiding. I read about how some people's rosacea can 'burn out' and I read people's posts about how they found something that 'cured' them. I am hoping that I can eventually have my own success story and that all of this will have been a wonderful learning experience, but then I realize this will likely never happen and I am doomed to continue this current course. Most days I don't know what to do. My life is no longer my own
    Ha, dating.. you're a braver person that me. I'll be alone forever. I was self-conscious before rosacea for many reasons but this has killed any hope for me. Good thing I grew up liking video games, it's about all I have to occupy my time in my apartment.

  7. #27
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    I use to be a really outgoing, average upbeat active person.
    Since I got ulcerative colitis and skin issues my life has literally been destroyed by my body.
    I had a girlfriend a year ago that I broke up with because when I made out with her my face burned, when I went to see her by train my face burned, so red visually.
    I miss most days at university even though i'm doing really well... I don't want to get a job like this.
    I'm just hoping the stuff i'm trying is going to cure my skin or decrease the issues.
    I wouldn't kill myself, but I do get really really depressed and I feel like my friends really wouldn't understand if i told them.
    People should remember there are worse things that can happen, just go through it, it might be a difficult few months-years but hopefully it'll be over eventually.

    P.S
    If anyone would like someone to talk to when they are depressed, message me if you'd like.
    People with the same issues are much easier to talk with.
    Last edited by Kagey; 19th February 2016 at 03:56 PM.

  8. #28
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    Hugs! I am also trying to recover from a gut injury from overtreatment with antibiotics, and my recovery was severely disrupted by being wrongly prescribed mirvaso.

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