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Thread: Having a very hard time

  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by lwemm View Post
    So sorry you are having such a difficult time! I don't know what to say other than I really believe the body can heal itself and I think it helps immensely if you have hope and believe this. I laid in bed for 4 months a couple of years unable to support my own body, numb and twitchy all over, so believe me, I know where your mind can go when you are in such a state. It took time but today I have my life back and it is just a memory. Hang in there. It will get better. Hugs to you.
    Thank you lwemm.
    I am laying in bed, not wanting to get up. I barely eat. It sounds like you completely understand the hopelessness I feel, the constant anxiety and dread in the pit of your stomach. Thank you for your kind words.

  2. #12
    Senior Member nat007's Avatar
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    Hi Paperbag

    i know what you are going through I think. Have been through hell and back in 2005. Also IPl in my case, also terrible worsening, flushing and burning 24/7 to the point of not being able to move on anymore. Nearly I should say. I wrote about it on a blog, perhaps it helps you in a way;
    http://scarletnat.blogspot.fr/2012/0...l-in-2005.html

    I would in your case try to take anti inflammatories, for me diclofenac 3 times a day (50 mg each time) helped get over the worst of the worst in the first 3 weeks.
    Then a year of rosacea hell, then anti flushing medication helped me. I would personally not mess with red light until you have your skin inflammation and redness well under control. Red light can help or it can stir things up I felt. At my worst it did the latter and it was so hard to figure out what was doing what. As long as your skin is recovering from this assault, let's put it that way, I wouldn';t mess with increased blood flow from red light and wait with that till your skin stabilized, but that's just my opinion.

    I felt the same; right from the moment i realized in that doctors chair that he was charcoaling me instead of treating and right from that moment I knew I ****ed things up majorly big style. Pls hang on and one way or another, things will get better.

    I also don't feel Dave Kelly is a troll, just someone who is outspoken and direct and some may find it rude, I personally value his contributions here..

    Best of wishes, Nat

  3. #13
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    Hi again, Paperbag.
    If my words helped at all, I am glad. Do try to eat and feed yourself really good food-- be extra kind to yourself. I don't know your family situation but if you have people there to help lean on them. I made it through my hellish time through a combination of self-distraction and prayer (I am not normally religious) and I talked to a counselor on the phone since I could not see her in her office. Do whatever you can not to focus on the despair you feel right now and give yourself time to heal. You have all my very best wishes.

  4. #14
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    Hello paperbag,
    I came across your story while researching vbeam treatments (for mild acne/rosacea) and chose to comment because I empathize with your BDD. I was diagnosed with it myself about 12 years ago and it has waxed and waned over the years depending a lot on the level of stress in my life. Recently, I realized it was getting out of control again and quickly got myself back on anti-OCD medication (generic Prozac). A generous dose has been helping a lot, coupled with a non-purpuric vbeam treatment (expensive! I'm jealous of how many people on this forum can get treated for much less $), a good skincare regimen, some supplements, careful eating, and SLEEP. I know how hard it is to get good sleep when you're so anxious, but it has become crucial to me. BDD/rosacea is such a vicious cycle and anything you can do to relax your body is necessary. Best of luck to you.

  5. #15
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    hey paperbag,

    i don't mean to come off rude, but i noticed you had problems with lasers a number of years ago. i've seen your name floating around the laser damage support forum. My question is: why do lasers again?? You know it didnt agree with you the first time. Why risk it again?

  6. #16
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    nat007 I did read your blog and it was heart breaking. I'm so sorry. I think you are a very pretty woman. You look like you have a good family support system.

    MH14: Yea I am back on Prozac. What dose are you on? I'm just on 20mg. I know that's not very high, but any higher and I can't stop eating. But my obsessional thoughts are just awful.

    Ruxin: The problems I had with lasers in the past were my fault. I did an excessive number of them back to back. It eventually healed, but in that case it wasn't the laser or the doctor that was the problem, it was my obsessions. This time, I fear it was the doctor did too much.

    Guys, I'm going to a burn clinic tomorrow to do an intake. I will be seeing a nurse who specializes in burns at the hospital's burn clinic. I'm terrified. I have no friends or family to go with me. I can't believe it's come to this...

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by paperbag View Post
    nat007 I did read your blog and it was heart breaking. I'm so sorry. I think you are a very pretty woman. You look like you have a good family support system.

    MH14: Yea I am back on Prozac. What dose are you on? I'm just on 20mg. I know that's not very high, but any higher and I can't stop eating. But my obsessional thoughts are just awful.

    Ruxin: The problems I had with lasers in the past were my fault. I did an excessive number of them back to back. It eventually healed, but in that case it wasn't the laser or the doctor that was the problem, it was my obsessions. This time, I fear it was the doctor did too much.

    Guys, I'm going to a burn clinic tomorrow to do an intake. I will be seeing a nurse who specializes in burns at the hospital's burn clinic. I'm terrified. I have no friends or family to go with me. I can't believe it's come to this...
    I'm so sorry what you had to go through. Hopefully it will still heal, maybe it will take a little longer for you. If not, I'm sure you're in good hands at the burn clinic. I'll keep you in my prayers.

  8. #18
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    Hello Dave -

    If you don't mind, could you explain your views and experiences with IPL/Laser. I am truly interested. I have had IPL (about 6) and I had excellent results in reducing the redness/flushing and burning but I also felt it did damage to my epidermis. You can PM me if you like. I would really appreciate what you think. Thank you.


    Quote Originally Posted by davekelly View Post
    Im sorry to say this but the year is 2015 and anyone who puts lasers anywhere near their skin is only asking for trouble

    The amount of horror stories that have been on forums like this in the last 20 years is there for everyone to see .

    Its just pure madness going near lasers

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by wendykay View Post
    Hello Dave -

    If you don't mind, could you explain your views and experiences with IPL/Laser. I am truly interested. I have had IPL (about 6) and I had excellent results in reducing the redness/flushing and burning but I also felt it did damage to my epidermis. You can PM me if you like. I would really appreciate what you think. Thank you.
    Hi Wendy

    Purpuric V-Beam ...4 brutal treatments left both my jawlines patchy looking .

    Now Ive got red( where the laser wasn't successful) and white (where laser was successful) patchy look.

    Waste of time and money .

    That was 15 years ago and the white patches are still the same now as they were then .

    Unless you get rid of all the redness . you will always have flushing .

    That's why lasers are useless . they cant do that
    Last edited by davekelly; 11th March 2015 at 11:04 PM.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Mistica's Avatar
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    IPL can work successfully, but these days, looking at reports on this forum, I rarely see positive posts.

    When I started having IPL back in late 2000, good results were common and considered the norm. At least at the clinics I attended. I attended two. One in NZ, where I had a total of five treatments. The first two eliminated all the telangiectasias, and reduced much of the baseline redness.
    Inflammation, burning kept coming and going, and back then, this was expected. It was explained as an expected and normal response. An insult to the skin/vasculature is considered 'something to repair', by the body.
    My improvement plateaued at 4 treatments, because the doctor was leaving and was going to be replaced by a nurse, the doctor found me a very experienced physician in Australia. I came here to stay with family while I underwent more treatments. Another reason I chose that path is, I also had awful and extensive melasma as well as rosacea and I have a light olive Latin type complexion. All these things make IPL high risk.

    It was not an easy course, filled with steps forward and backward and my course took longer as I had the melasma.
    Most other patients in the clinic had around 10 treatments with total clearance. The fact the doctor also had rosacea/flushing was no doubt a motivator for better understanding of the disease and how to use his tools.
    He was very keen about his work back then.
    I saw many of the other patients and observed their faces before, during and at the end of treatments.
    I was considered the most complex rosacean/flusher.
    My flushing was not anywhere near as severe as I became in later years (due to a multitude of reasons).

    There was another patient who was considered extreme. He had Phymatous rosacea of the forehead and his derm had advised he undergo surgery. Fortunately he looked for other options and came to consult my doc. It was decided to try the YAG, which was considered experimental and risky. It worked and this patient went from looking like Herman Munster to a normal looking man.

    The IPL machine used back then was the Photoderm. (Lumenis). Only ONE pass was ever done during a treatment. The various filters were utilised in rotation.
    Also, unlike now, the fluence was reduced for deeper filters, not increased. I can recall a patient getting burned with the 'increased' method, alarming the doc, so that he dedicated time to revisiting his physics training and came to the conclusion that someone had made a mistake about the way IPL works. I can't comment on that, but I do know that I certainly had to have the fluence decreased for deeper filters to avoid burning.
    The crystal was 'floated', in a 'sausage' of gel. This added a protective factor and also back then, there was no cooling device. As each sausage was applied to the skin, a shot was done, and this allowed the doc to see where he had already treated.

    When I went back to NZ, I had the best skin I had had in years, and the melasma was virtually gone too. My skin was great. No redness, no flushing, no burning, .. just the odd breakout of a few P&P.
    I was kept on antibiotics as it was deemed necessary and because I didn't know any better, I just followed doctor's orders. My diet wasn't overly bad, but not conducive to good gut health. I developed more obvious digestive issues, surprise, surprise.

    Fast forward to years later. The IPL machine was getting old and repairs didn't last. It was not as effective and could sit out of action for weeks on end whilst new parts were in transit from America.
    Meanwhile the doctor has become bored with IPL and skin/cancer removal and moved into cosmetic surgery.
    By that time the IPL machine didn't produce benefits and I developed some damage.
    Due to the complexity of my case, I had received far more treatments than most people, so:

    A) my damage was probably due to excessive treatments.
    B) Faulty machine.
    C) Excessive fluences as doc wasn't paying attention on occasion in later years. (That's a definite).

    When I became a severe flusher, (in excess of what is considered rosacea related flushing, due to variety of reasons), nothing worked and attempts to be treated with the latest Lumenis with a different doctor caused more damage. Significant damage.

    So, in summary, IPL can be an effective treatment for redness and the flushing associated with rosacea, but it has be implemented by someone who knows what they are doing.
    I am not convinced the multi pass technique is safe. Also, I do believe that some level of damage is likely occurring in some individuals, before it becomes visible.

    I don't believe V-beam is useful for superficial baseline redness as the filter which is 595 targets below the capillaries causing the redness.
    Nor does it target deeper vessels.
    Purpuric treatments can leave a patchy effect as seen with Dave and others.

    The doc used to 'burst' my nostril vessels with either 'triple pulse on the 570 filter', or 'single pulse with the 515 filter'. In other patients, with lighter complexions he had been known to utilise the 515 filter for cheek telangiectasias.
    My nostril bruises cleared completely within 5 to 10 days. In later years, they hung around for longer.

    Patients were advised to apply icepacks as required and not to expose themselves to anything which caused flushing or irritation for a couple of weeks.
    Unlike now, it would appear.

    I rarely hear good stories these days. At least, not on this board.
    Last edited by Mistica; 12th March 2015 at 01:05 AM.
    Previous Numerous IPL.
    Supplements: Niacinamide, Vit K2, low D3, Moderate Dose Vit C, Iodine, Taurine, Magnesium. Very low dose B's. Low dose zinc (to correct deficiency).
    Skin Care: No Cleanser, ZZ cream mixed with Niacinamide gel 4% and LMW HA.

    Treating for gut dysbiosis under specialist care. (This is helping).
    Previous GAPS diet. Testing tolerance of resistant starch.
    Fermented Foods. 2 to 3 days per week, Intermittent fasting -16-18 hours.

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