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Thread: How do you cope?

  1. #1
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    Default How do you cope?

    I've been on a bit a roller coaster of emotion due to different doctors giving different diagnosis and finally a couple of weeks ago I got the answer. I have rosacea, folliculitis and seb derm and to be honest in broken.. I feel so low every day because my skin has stopped my sporting life, social life and my entire life. Every morning I'm scared to get up and look in the mirror. I stay at home all day having left university because of this and lately I have been contemplating suicide. I'm 21 and I feel I'm living a second class life as result of my skin conditions and I'm completely broke from paying for treatment. The thoughts of ending it all seem so appealing but the one thing that pulls me back is the effect it will have on my family.

    I'm sorry for whining but I feel I need to vent. How do you all cope living with this curse? How do you find the strength to face each day? I feel this condition has and is stealing my youth and my life..

  2. #2
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    First off hi everyone, I'm new here, I have already registrered account but never posted anywhere.

    What you described sounds just like me, so I know how you feel. I remember getting up everyday with that ugly gut feeling wondering how my skin looks today. Rosacea has a big impact on my life, even to the point where I started to avoid social situations and people. It makes me depressed, constantly obsessing over my face and checking the image I see in the mirror every time I walk past it. There was a time I wished I was dead, although I'd never take my own life. Few times I even cried not knowing what to do. The hardest thing for me is to experience a flush when I'm in public. I have a hard time looking at the mirror, so how am I supposed to look at people when talking to them, especially girls I find attractive? I feel consumed by rosacea and the psychological problems that come with it. Luckily I've found a good derm so things are a little better now.

    How do you cope with it? I don't really know, right now I'm in the process of accepting it. In the morning when I wake up and look in the mirror I thank God for what I have. I believe my skin condition made me a person who is more acceptable of others and their problems. There are far worse problems than rosacea, and I know that it doesn't sound really encouraging since you still have to cope with your skin condition day by day, and you can't just "snap out" of the mental state that comes along with it. But one thing is sure, as life is going by you can sit back and cry or accept it and live your life the best you can. We are making the choice.

  3. #3
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    I'm not exactly sure what folliculitis is but I also have rosacea and seb derm. I can completely relate, I'm turning 16 in two weeks and I stopped going to my high school and started online school this year. Even though I can't take my own advice do not let your skin ruin your future. College is so important and years from now I'm sure you will regret leaving. What kind of treatment have you tried? I use to think about suicide as well but I realized how selfish it is to want to die over my skin while others fight to live everyday. It's okay venting always help. Rosacea and seb derm started over a year ago for me when I was still 14. It completely changed my life and I wish I could go back in time before all of this. Right now learning to control my stress has helped so much for me. My flare ups haven't been as bad the past couple months since I'm learning to be more relaxed. I'm scared to spend my last two years of high school alone. I don't want to miss out on all the things I could be doing right now but it's so hard when dealing with this. If you don't already, try going to the gym it always makes me feel so much better and its a great stress reliever. I feel the same, that it's been stealing away my teenage years. I try to stay really positive but I still have those days when I break down and can't take it. This forum will be really helpful for you. I was happy when I found it a while ago because I finally felt like I wasn't the only person going through this. You can message me whenever, I hope things get better for you

  4. #4
    Senior Member nat007's Avatar
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    Hi,

    I think everyone reading here or writing here can relate to this feeling of depression and devastation you are feeling now. It is a terrible disease to have, I think so too. Many here have been where you are now emotionally, me included. All I can say is that often it will get easier with time. You are just diagnosed and will need a lot of time probably to come to terms with what these diagnosis might mean. There are however lots of things you can do to impact and improve your skin problems with. For most here, things also will become a bit easier with time, but it's tough for sure.

    For me, I had the same feelings at the time, I managed to finish university but let go of almost everything else; including leading a social life. Rosacea, fretting over my skin and trying to control my symptoms took all of my energy. But things have improved for me and for many people I know who have long term rosacea. I'm not sure if you are religious, but either way, you have all of eternity to be dead. It's always worth trying for as long as you can to improve your life here, for all you know there is eternal nothingness. My dad told me during the worst years, when I flushed literally 24/7, that even if I had 15 minutes a day where I enjoyed watching something on tele or reading something or laughing about something, it would be worth going on.

    You are just at the start of all this and many people have improved their rosacea with medication, natural treatments, diet, lifestyle changes etc etc. Please try to stay positive and perhaps start reading about the treatment options that are out there. Keep posting here, and feel free to pm me if you feel very lousy and need an ear.

    Don't give up things will get a bit better again

    take care

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by puffdaddy View Post
    First off hi everyone, I'm new here, I have already registrered account but never posted anywhere.

    What you described sounds just like me, so I know how you feel. I remember getting up everyday with that ugly gut feeling wondering how my skin looks today. Rosacea has a big impact on my life, even to the point where I started to avoid social situations and people. It makes me depressed, constantly obsessing over my face and checking the image I see in the mirror every time I walk past it. There was a time I wished I was dead, although I'd never take my own life. Few times I even cried not knowing what to do. The hardest thing for me is to experience a flush when I'm in public. I have a hard time looking at the mirror, so how am I supposed to look at people when talking to them, especially girls I find attractive? I feel consumed by rosacea and the psychological problems that come with it. Luckily I've found a good derm so things are a little better now.

    How do you cope with it? I don't really know, right now I'm in the process of accepting it. In the morning when I wake up and look in the mirror I thank God for what I have. I believe my skin condition made me a person who is more acceptable of others and their problems. There are far worse problems than rosacea, and I know that it doesn't sound really encouraging since you still have to cope with your skin condition day by day, and you can't just "snap out" of the mental state that comes along with it. But one thing is sure, as life is going by you can sit back and cry or accept it and live your life the best you can. We are making the choice.

    This is EXACTLY how I am, couldn't have put it any better. When I was diagnosed those early days were the hardest to cope with, truly horrible times. These days I am going through an acceptance phase and try to reassure myself that there are a lot worse things that could've happened to me. It doesn't give me much comfort, but at least there are things we can do to ease the suffering.

    I will never accept this condition, as I know it is not who I am - it has ruined my life basically. That may be a counter-productive outlook to have, and I don't wish to live in denial. But to accept it is to give in (for me). I have my routines, and always researching new/alternative treatments in the fight to find what works for me. But so far, nothing has proven to be a long-term treatment and that is the hardest thing to cope with. The not knowing. For a while something may work wonders on your skin, only for it to turn against you and make things worse a week later. I'd be happy if I just had something that worked - I know there's no cure - but a product or symptom that can identified and targeted. Instead of trying every anti-redness cream that comes on the market in some desperate frenzy simply because IT MIGHT WORK.

    Trying to keep an active social life is impossible for me. I constantly make excuses not to meet people, and when I decide that I can't hide away forever and eventually do meet up with friends the whole process of getting prepared is insane that I sometimes give up and cancel the whole thing. I've actually started seeing a girl recently but we've not really seen each other in the daylight (I know that sounds weird) but she travels a lot with her work, and the only time we get to see each other is in the evenings. My fear is that she'll eventually see my skin in all it's raging glory and run a mile.

  6. #6
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    About acceptance, I think it is many times misunderstood. I can relate to this guy.

    http://chriskresser.com/living-with-...-of-acceptance

    When most people (including myself at one point) hear the word “acceptance”, they think of giving up or caving in. But giving up is not acceptance – it’s submission. And there’s a crucial difference between the two.
    Acceptance simply means the recognition that the moment is as it is. That’s it. It is not a value judgment. Accepting something is true in this moment doesn’t mean that we endorse it or approve of it. It just means we recognize it is in this particular moment.


    This is my definition of acceptance.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomas View Post
    About acceptance, I think it is many times misunderstood. I can relate to this guy.

    http://chriskresser.com/living-with-...-of-acceptance

    When most people (including myself at one point) hear the word “acceptance”, they think of giving up or caving in. But giving up is not acceptance – it’s submission. And there’s a crucial difference between the two.
    Acceptance simply means the recognition that the moment is as it is. That’s it. It is not a value judgment. Accepting something is true in this moment doesn’t mean that we endorse it or approve of it. It just means we recognize it is in this particular moment.


    This is my definition of acceptance.
    Exactly that. It doesn't mean to give up and stop caring for yourself, but accept it as it is and still do whatever you can to improve your condition.

  8. #8
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    Rosacea hit me in college. I quit and got a job at night that kept the social interaction to a minimal. I went through hell for the last 10 years with severe depression/anxiety/anger. Along the way my crappy job at night led me to meeting a variety of people some of which has had a lasting impact on me. I eventually got tired of feeling sorry for myself and started looking into the best ways to deal with my skin problems. For me a super strict diet with supplements has improved my skin and mental health.

    Rosacea as bad as it's been for me has built me into a much stronger person with a better perspective on the world. It's opened my eye's to what's actually important in this world and in the next. I feel my journey with rosacea is a necessary hurtle to become the person I am supposed to be. It's funny looking back and thinking how much different my life would have been without rosacea. I would have been happier, but the people that are the most important in my life wouldn't be. I am forever grateful for rosacea for saving me.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broken View Post
    Rosacea hit me in college. I quit and got a job at night that kept the social interaction to a minimal. I went through hell for the last 10 years with severe depression/anxiety/anger. Along the way my crappy job at night led me to meeting a variety of people some of which has had a lasting impact on me. I eventually got tired of feeling sorry for myself and started looking into the best ways to deal with my skin problems. For me a super strict diet with supplements has improved my skin and mental health.

    Rosacea as bad as it's been for me has built me into a much stronger person with a better perspective on the world. It's opened my eye's to what's actually important in this world and in the next. I feel my journey with rosacea is a necessary hurtle to become the person I am supposed to be. It's funny looking back and thinking how much different my life would have been without rosacea. I would have been happier, but the people that are the most important in my life wouldn't be. I am forever grateful for rosacea for saving me.
    Wonderful post Broken, maybe you should change name to Healed

    I hope to be on my way to your state of mind, I have taken help from mindfulness, using meditations every morning and night. This has been a great tool that I will for sure continue as it slowly clears my mind from destructive and unproductive thoughts.

    I now have moments where I do not keep worrying about all the problems I have but instead focus on the task at hand and when I focus on my Rosacea I do it with focus on improving it, not feeling sorry for myself.

    In the end I hope that I will see Rosacea like you do, that it was something given to me to make me a better person.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Broken View Post
    Rosacea hit me in college. I quit and got a job at night that kept the social interaction to a minimal. I went through hell for the last 10 years with severe depression/anxiety/anger. Along the way my crappy job at night led me to meeting a variety of people some of which has had a lasting impact on me. I eventually got tired of feeling sorry for myself and started looking into the best ways to deal with my skin problems. For me a super strict diet with supplements has improved my skin and mental health.

    Rosacea as bad as it's been for me has built me into a much stronger person with a better perspective on the world. It's opened my eye's to what's actually important in this world and in the next. I feel my journey with rosacea is a necessary hurtle to become the person I am supposed to be. It's funny looking back and thinking how much different my life would have been without rosacea. I would have been happier, but the people that are the most important in my life wouldn't be. I am forever grateful for rosacea for saving me.
    Yeh I agree, what a beautiful comment.

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