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Thread: Why me?

  1. #1
    Junior Member darild's Avatar
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    Default Why me?

    I havenít posted here in a few years. Or at least it seems that long. You would think this condition would become easier to deal with after having it for over two decades, but it really doesnít. Do you guys ever wonder why me? I see plenty of clear-skinned people wherever I go and wonder why I am not one of those lucky ones?
    Like most of you, I feel cheated. This condition has done a number on my psyche and self-esteem.
    I just was promoted to sports editor of the newspaper Iíve worked for over a decade, mostly in obscurity thanks to this condition.
    A good sports editor is out in the public eye and trying to form relationships with athletes, coaches and readers, etc. I donít really want to look people in the eye when my condition is flaring up, especially being outside in the sun.
    I think the worst part is how much time I am thinking about this condition and how it will affect me in all aspects of my life.
    I have a 1 1/2 year old son and another child on the way and a wife who loves me and doesnít even notice anything wrong with my face. Yet, I am miserable. I think it wouldnít be so bad if I didnít have the physical discomfort, but thatís not going away. So it magnifies ten-fold on my psyche.
    Iím always hoping Iíll wake up. Itís 20 years ago, and my face is clear and I can see how much different my life would be.
    Sorry for the pity party. But I needed to vent.
    Derek

  2. #2
    Moderator Melissa W's Avatar
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    Hi Derek, I am sorry you are going through a tough time right now but congratulations on your promotion and excelling at work despite everything! Also, just to remind you of all the other wonderful things you have in your life to be grateful for- a loving and devoted wife and a healthy child with another on the way! That's more than many people ever realize.

    I know you are aware of all the amazing people you have in your life to be thankful for but sometimes it helps to remember all the good. Sure, you have rosacea and it is a pain and it affects your day to day life but as I have said before- everyone has something (at least). No one gets out of life without being touched by challenges, adversity and difficult times/events etc. That is part of life. So while it may seem you have it toughest of all your family/friends etc I assure you that you do not. There are daily life struggles all people are dealing with- if you have lived long enough and even if you have not sadly enough. There is no need for me to expand on this- just look around and remember all you have in your life and how much others are suffering and then count your blessings.

    Rosacea is a difficult challenge for sure but it is not a deadly one and you can and are living a good life in spite of it all. Never let rosacea be the boss of you. No matter what flares or challenges it may throw at you- you will flourish despite it and maybe (just maybe) because of it. Hang in there Derek through this tough time. We all go through feeling a little sorry for ourselves at times. That's OK. The key is to realize it's OK to feel whatever way you are feeling so you can start feeling better about it all. Sending hugs your way and all the best on your upcoming happy birth!!

    Best,
    Melissa

  3. #3
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    I wonder what this guy would give to have your "problem"?

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...d-illness.html

    Your very lucky to have a loving wife and kids.Appreciate what u have.
    I hate the way the US media makes people like u,who im sure looks very normal to feel like crap.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Brady Barrows's Avatar
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    That's why Warren invented this forum. Getting rosacea sufferers together. Obviously we can relate to what you are talking about. Rosacea isn't for sissies. You can figure out what your triggers are and avoid them, and find the best treatment options for your particular rosacea. There simply isn't a one treatment fits all regimen for everyone. Plus, there is disagreement of what subtype or variant of rosacea you may have, not to mention all the rosacea mimics and co-existing conditions that you might have. Knowledge is power, keep reading and you may find something that will help control your rosacea flare ups.
    Brady Barrows
    Join the RRDi

  5. #5
    Senior Member Ghost's Avatar
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    Now what does the US media have to do with this?
    "It's all illusion anyway."

  6. #6
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    I know how you feel. I've often looked at people much much older than I am with crystal-clear skin and here I was in my mid twenties with horrible skin despite never smoking or abusing my body in any way. Often I would feel sorry for myself even to the point of tears but I knew that only doing that would get me nowhere, so I decided to change my lifestyle to help myself as much as possible. I cleaned up my diet, removed food intolerances, took supplements, avoided triggers, searched out chemical-free topicals that wouldn't aggravate my ultra-sensitive skin. It is still a struggle but I am now 80% better than where I was before.

    I don't know if there is a 100% cure for everyone, but I do know that there are many steps that can be done aside of medication (which is never a solution, imo) that can help keep it under control. I now don't worry too much about my face, but I still maintain my good eating habits for the most part. It's not perfect, but I'll take the 80% improvement over nothing. I guess when it's really bad, you're just relieved to see it get somewhat better.

    I hope you are able to keep a perspective of the things that you DO have. I'm not saying it doesn't suck to live with rosacea because I know it does. Since you have a wife who loves you, any lifestyle changes you may decide to take to help your rosacea, hopefully she will support you in that. That is one good thing, at least.

    Also, Anthony16, your post was in bad taste. Most of us here have felt like ranting about our condition and it has affected most of us psychologically in some way or another in a negative manner. It doesn't help one bit to point to some other condition and say 'stop being a crybaby, look how much worse off they are than you.' Psychological pain can hurt so much more than physical pain and to just blow it off like that is very unsympathetic and uncaring. Rosacea IS a disfigurement of the face, unless you haven't seen rhinophyma. Even without blatant rhinophyma symptoms, the skin is irritated, red, puffy, sore, blemished, scaly, itchy, flaky, etc etc etc. So trying to point out some other disfigurement as 'worse' than rosacea doesn't help at all. I have had people come to me and ask me blatantly 'what is wrong with your face?' Or others saying, 'oh, you should go to a dermatologist, or 'wow, did you get some sun!' (when I know I didn't 'get any sun' at all) Just because they don't try to pull my face off doesn't mean that their words don't hurt and don't make me feel self-conscious about the way I look.
    Current skincare regime for rosacea subtypes I, II and IV started March, 2012:

    *Strict diet. No dairy, wheat, sugar, nuts/seeds, legumes. Only meat, 'safe starches', and low-phenol starchy/unstarchy fruits and veggies and water with ghee, lard and duck fat as cooking aids and sources of fat. Also avoiding food intolerances.
    Supplementing with raw food multivitamin, liquid zinc sulfate with copper, epsom salt baths (magnesium sulfate), calcium and vitamin C. Lots of water!

  7. #7
    Senior Member DennyB's Avatar
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    I dont mean to come off as arrogant or attacking you, but a better question is why not you?

  8. #8
    Moderator Melissa W's Avatar
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    Denny, Your post is rude and unnecessary. We are here for info and support and I don't see that your post adds anything useful. If you're having a bad day please don't take it out on others. And if you only have snark to add then please refrain from posting.

  9. #9
    Senior Member DennyB's Avatar
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    Sorry it wasent meant to be, just something i always ask myself when i wonder 'why me'.

  10. #10
    Moderator Melissa W's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DennyB View Post
    Sorry it wasent meant to be, just something i always ask myself when i wonder 'why me'.
    Thanks Denny for clarifying. I think we have all imagined how much easier our lives would be without rosacea and sometimes it really helps to vent which allows us to feel better. And when we are venting I think it is most helpful to listen and offer support and maybe some kind advice.

    I like to think of this forum as a soft place to fall when we are down as well as a place that offers info/experience to help others- in order to allow us to get back on our feet feeling strong enough to beat the effects of this disease.

    Best,
    Melissa

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