Hi Everyone,

Lately I have been having a difficult time. I still am unsure if i have rosacea but am sooooo worried about it. I don't seem to flush anymore which is good-- I was flushing a few months ago after using a topical steroid too long but that has improved. I do have blotchy skin but it a very light pink and not that noticeable to other people-- I ]notice it. I recently began obsessing about it and looking on the internet. Well, I then got really scared because I don't want to look like those people who have rosacea on the internet!! I guess I should stop doing that!

When I am out and about, I am constantly comparing my skin to other people's-- it's crazy! I can't seem to stop thinking about my skin and worrying about what the problem is (my derm really isn't that sure). I find that I cannot be happy when my skin looks bad and it's affecting my life and my relationships. My skin is patchy/blotchy and looks worse when I am worrying about it. I am not eating any sugar or grains but that does not seem to improve my face. I think that it has to do with my emotions in a way-- if I felt better emotionally, then my skin would look better. But I have trouble being happy when my skin looks bad. I was in therapy for awhile but I am not back to work yet due to an illness and cannot afford it anymore.

The BDD presents itself in ways like getting stuck looking in the mirror or avoiding mirrors completely, worrying incessantly about it to the point where I have trouble getting out of bed and looking for work, etc. I am just so worried all of the time and it makes me feel really bad in side. Like REALLY, REALLY BAD!

Spencer has been a big help to me on this forum because she always helps me look at things in a more positive light. Some days it's easier than others but it's been really bad for me lately. I just don't want to feel sad anymore. I really. really don't. I think I would feel better if I saw things improving but I am not sure if they are. I feel out of control-- it's the worst feeling. My sister has really nice white (non-blotchy) skin and I can't help but look at her with jealously. I cry a lot and I feel like some days my soul is crushed. I am hormonal now, so my skin is not looking that great because of that and I also am more emotional during the time of the months.

If I could just do something that would just help the blotchiness of my skin, that would be great. My skin is really not that sensitive to much of anything so maybe I don't have rosacea-- I am not sure. I can be out in the sun just fine-- I just turn red when I drink alcohol, after I exercise and shower I look pink. Any ideas on what could help even out my skin tone?

Thanks to everyone who replies to my threads- I truly appreciate it!