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Thread: So... do red people date other red people?

  1. #1
    Member Bubdylan's Avatar
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    Default So... do red people date other red people?

    My self-diagnosed mild rosacea is having a hard, hard week. I swear I see ten new (albeit tiny) thread veins since last week. The general redness of my nose and cheeks... well, I'm starting to look ten years older than I am.

    So, like some others I've read here in this forum, an immediate anxiety, if you're single, is "okay, am I about to just throw all my dating aspirations in the garbage?" I mean, this thing looks to be taking a fairly dark turn.

    Which eventually made me think these things in this order:

    1. Will anybody want to date a guy with a veiny face that is sometimes very red?

    2. Well, would I date a girl with the same problem with her face?

    3. Yes, I would. But in all honesty, only because I have it myself now, and it has changed everything about the way I regard physical beauty.

    4. So... does that mean that people with these problems are naturally attracted to each other? Through common sympathy and rearranged understandings?

    Do Rosacea people fall for each other? I hope it's not a tacky or weird question. Just being honest. The redness doesn't bother me as bad as the veins. Honestly, it's hard for me to picture a woman being okay with these veins on my nose & soon-to-be cheeks.

    Any hope?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Auburn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubdylan View Post

    it has changed everything about the way I regard physical beauty.
    Rosacea's only positive aspect.


    Honestly, it's hard for me to picture a woman being okay with these veins on my nose & soon-to-be cheeks.
    It all depends on your attitude, really.

    You may find a treatment that works for you, just keep trying different things and give each treatment enough time to work.

    As a woman, I can tell you that a guy with a red face who happens to be attentive, confident and interesting won't have any problems dating.

    Also, women, for the most part, are good listeners. Take advantage of that.
    *
    I've treated seb derm successfully with raw honey and virgin coconut oil and have been symptom-free since June '09. Follow this ---> link <--- for details.

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    Senior Member Erikson's Avatar
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    U know what makes me feel horrible?

    I feel that I don't accept my condition or think that guys will reject me if they see my face looking bad, is because I would do that if I were the one with perfect skin.
    31 year old male from Puerto Rico
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    Member Bubdylan's Avatar
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    Auburn, appreciate your reply.

    Attentive, confident, and interesting? Heh. Well, two out of three ain't bad?

    Erikson, I can relate totally. That's along the lines of what I was thinking. It's funny what we find out about ourselves under certain pressures.

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    if i were single, yes ofcourse i would totally date or have a relationship with a guy if he has rosacea. why not? we both share something in common.

    though i have never met any guy before with rosacea.. not even girls. maybe cuz im in hong kong.. its kinda rare for ppl to get that. which makes me stand out even more. ugh!!

    i have dated guys with acne or skin that was not perfect. doesn't bother me. what matters is the personality.

    infact i find people with skin problems tend to be more sensitive and caring to others.

    and in general there is more pressure for a girl to have nice smooth skin, than a guy... i think

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    Hi Bubdylan, good post and good to talk to you. I totally get what you are saying. This is what I think,

    1. Will anybody want to date a guy with a veiny face that is sometimes very red?

    Yes, of course. Anybody who would not give someone a second look because of veins/red skin is not worth knowing in the first place, so it is not a loss for you.

    3. Yes, I would. But in all honesty, only because I have it myself now, and it has changed everything about the way I regard physical beauty.

    4. So... does that mean that people with these problems are naturally attracted to each other? Through common sympathy and rearranged understandings?

    Interesting point you have. I can only speak from my own experience but my job involves customer interaction and during this time I have encountered some very attractive woman, and I must admit if I saw a woman with a rosy complexion who appeared shy, I would be more drawn towards her and feel a lot more at ease. For instance, I see people very often blush if they get a little angry, or show any kind of emotion, and when this happens to be a woman, yes, I would be more attracted. is this because I suffer with the same thing? Quite possibly. I know that deep down she feels the same pain as me and has to go through the same kind of things. But also, I find woman who blush and have rosy cheeks very attractive. And I must say we are far from alone, I have seen men and woman with very bad flushing problems and guess what, it does not make me think less of them , but I am sure they go home and beat themselves up over it.


    Thanks,

    Joe.

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    Member Bubdylan's Avatar
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    Joe and shellsdoll, thank you both for your sensitive replies. This thing is brand new to me and I'm up and down as to what I think it's all going to mean; ranging from "nothing essential has changed" to "life as I know it is over now." This forum is an awesome resource, helping me find some balance.

    I got caught in a bad storm yesterday out on a walk. Hard wind pelting my face with driving, cold rain. The kind of thing I used to enjoy for the thrill of it. But I went to bed with a face hot, red and swollen (woke up pale, so that's a relief). It's hard to think those activities are over. I'm not going to give into melancholy or whatever - that's got to be useless. But I wanted to express a bit of sadness. I'm locking up the memory of yesterday's driving rain in my face in case that's the last one I take a chance on.

    ANYway...

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    Bubdylan, no problem. We all have days like that, it is normal for us to feel like this however as you stated, it is important not to let it drag you down to much. my philosophy is, ''ok so my cheeks get red, so what'' much easier said than done and of course some days this just doesn't work. Have you spoken to a dermatologist yet? You should, go to your GP and get a referral it is better to get it out in the open, telling friends and family helps also, so maybe they won't turn the heating on full blast in teh car or in the house as I am sure you know, this is a pain in the neck!

    Goodluck

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    Member MysteryMan's Avatar
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    I actually burst out laughing when I read the title.

    The only thing that will stop you from dating women that you would have been able to date before is if you let your skin condition change the way you act.
    Have Fully Controlled My Seb Derm

  10. #10
    Member Bubdylan's Avatar
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    Joseph, I haven't been to a derm yet. I have an appointment for a consultation with a vascular surgeon to discuss the possibility of veinwave treatment, because, as I mentioned, the veins are what bother me the most by a long shot. A half dozen pretty funky dark red ones on one side of my nose and a bunch of tiny ones I don't care about unless they get bigger - which they surely will. Outside of forum member Mirradodga, I've heard mostly bad reports on veinwave, so I'm aprehensive. But we'll see.

    I am not insured or stacked for cash, so I have to spend carefully. I may look into a dermatologist after I get back from Thursday's appt with Dr. Kingsley. I was hoping to piece together some skin strategies from the web eventually.

    In the meantime, I've cut out beer, coffee, 80% of my carb intake, and standing in one place for a long time. And I've picked up cardio exercise. Hoping to stall the progression of the veins. Thanks again for your interest.

    MysteryMan, glad you got a chuckle. Not letting this condition change the way I act seems like a tall order, but I'll give it my best shot. Thanks for your encouragement.

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