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Thread: worst depression yet

  1. #1
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    Default worst depression yet

    I was originally going to ask for some advice on this, but I guess I really just want to talk about this and share it with anyone who is willing to read.
    I have been going out with a girl for around 6 years but for the last couple of years things have been quite rough. We had a big argument 6 months ago and I guess she has been wanting to leave me for a while, but couldn't actually do it, probably guilt.
    Anyway, whenever someone asks if im seeing anyone I often just say no, because I felt like it wasn't really a secure situation half the time, so I didn't want to explain the other half of the time the difficulties I was having with this relationship. Lynelle is going to university in england, although her home is about 20 miles from here, which made it easier to lie about not having a gf to people, I felt like the situation was quite depressing which is my only reason for preferring to keep it secret as I didn't need the extra stress.
    But now today, or should I say yesterday, we had a bit of a falling out and she was supposed to call me this morning to tell me when we would meet on the weekend as per usual. No call I try to call her number back, it seems the number was either temporarily down or disconnected, tried directory enquiries and according to online searches the number exists, after 30 minutes of researching what I suspected turned out to be true, the number had been changed behind my back, the mobile number apparently is not set up for voice mail? switched off? I even tried calling her grandmothers house because she frequents there sometimes .. her grandmother hung up on me and now its constantly engaged. I
    further more she doesn't appear online and I always knew her passwords for various instant messengers (as she knew mine) all the passwords have been changed. Finally because of the end of term at univesity and shes switching universities and didn't tell me the new one shes going to yet, I beleive this has all been calculated for quite some time, everything seems so deliberate and planned.
    She may not have been happy with me or felt like she could do this face to face, but I really find this kind of behaviour disgusting for anyone. Especially as she knows me better than anyone and she knows exactly what sort of confidence issues I have, how can I be with someone for 6 years and then im totally cut off like this?
    I have never been this depressed in my life and because of the rosacea thing ive felt suicidal numerous times, i just dont know what to do, i really dont know how i can get through this anymore.

  2. #2
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    i bet there are lots of people who can relate to wat u are going through. rosacea gets me extremely depressed too.
    i cant imagine wat it is like to be with someone for 6 years then nothing....maybe she just needs time..maybe she sees it as the easyiest way..because the best way to get over someone is to cut contact...but i think maybe she shud of explained before doing so...just so ur not left hanging,wonderin and blaming yourself.the only thing i can say really is that u are not alone,iv had a relationship end, and once one bad thing happens u tend to grip on to the negatives i.e. like haviin rosacea and al the other stuff to drag u down and that is only a downward spiral. please just stay positive..although it may be hard!!!i dont know wat else to say.
    sam

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    As someone who's gone through a very messy and bitter divorce, my best advice to give you is -
    Realize that you can't make someone love you.
    She had left you in her heart and mind before she actually split.
    You can never go back to what you once had.
    And even though it may not seem like it now, it's probably for the best, things happen for a reason.
    Hold your head up, and let your friends hold you up if need help.

    After 15 years of marriage and over 20 together,two kids, my husband left me for another woman. I was devastated at the time. But I thank God every day now, because I am happily married to a wonderful man, who has been so supportive throughout my struggles with rosacea.
    And my ex? He's miserable, he's destroyed every relationship he's had since the divorce. Karma? You bet!!

    Be strong, get help. There is no shame in asking for it. The biggest shame would be letting this defeat you. Good Luck, and Best Wishes!!

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    I agree with Patty. You can't make someone love you. She probably loved you at one time and then her feelings changed. She should have talked to you about it but I guess it was too hard for her. People don't like conflict. Be the better person and move on. You and she just weren't meant to be. I don't think that you really loved her anymore either. You will find someone else that will make you happy. Learn from your mistakes so that your next relationship will be better.

    Take care and good luck.

    Bonnie

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    Hi,

    I feel with you and can imagine you feel devestated, left behind, lonely, empty, without any new outlook and miserable. It takes time to get over these things, just as it takes (a lot of) time to come somewhat to terms with having rosacea.. I have a pretty bad case for 8 years now and it made me suicidally depressed several times. I am having a very rough relationship with lots of ups and downs and stress, although lately things have calmed down again. But I feel that me dealing with the rosacea is a lonely thing in the end, no matter how hard family and friends trying to help. It takes so much energy and positivity that dealing with any other setback can seem too much. But never forget that people are stronger then they think they are.
    If I knew in advance that my beloved sister would die at age 22, from a silly apendicitis, ON TOP of my bad rosacea, I think I would have given up straight away. Then it happened, I was devestated, but managed to go on, and I did eventually find some peace with it. And also with the rosacea, to a degree. I'm no longer completely depressed, anxious, 100% focussed on my skin anymore. I accept I have bad flushings and am in need of medication, constant ventilation if possible with a fan, icecubes etc, but there is also a lot people like you and me CAN do.. it sounds like a terrible cliché, but there are so many worse things in life in the end. Life has a lot of beautiful things to offer, if you can see them.

    I am rambling a bit here I am afraid, but what I am trying to say is that I empasize with you but that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if you give yourself the time to see it again. Don't panick too much now, take deep breaths, set new goals day by day from now on, small goals, like going out every day and see a friend, or do something you enjoy. Even though you only have 10 minutes of joy a day for now, that can be sufficient to get through the rest of the day. And thinking positive, especially about yourself, is so helpful.

    There is always medication to fall back on. It has helped me tremendously when I was at rock bottom.

    Stay strong and keep us posted if you like,
    best of wishes, Natalja.

  6. #6
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    Sorry to hear you are going through hard time. If you can gether your friends around you and let them know what's happening. They will be there to support you through this.

    Perhaps you could write her a letter explaining how you feel about her and the situation and maybe send it to her grand mothers house.

    When I split up from my boyfriend many years ago it came out of the blue for me. I realise know as others have said by the time you get to hear about it the other person has usually dealt with the split and already moved on. I find this leaves you spinning out of control for a while.

    But it does get better. For me the time I spent without a boyfriend was some of the best times of my life. I learnt about what I liked and didn't like and did what I pleased.

    I'm not sure what other words can help but I hope that you confide your feelings to your friends.

    Best wishes



    Sarah

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    "Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want."
    Eat up your spinach, it'll put color in your cheeks.
    But I don't want green cheeks!

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    Senior Member Skywolf's Avatar
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    Our hearts are with you. I went through a very nasty break up ater 12 years, I thought my heart, shattered, would never heal, I didn't sleep, eat, drank WAY too much, I was a mess. But I did heal. It took a whole lot of time, and it was not fun, but I survived it, though at times my thoughts would drift to the , well, not so good. Its such a horrible thing to face, you want answers where there are none, you want to know WHY the person that loved you now does not, it is so hard. You will get thorugh this, we are here to help you if you dont have a support bace (which you may be amazed to find out you have when bad things like this happen) You can PM any of here usto talk off board.
    Keep strong, It may seem empty words, but it is true.

    Hugs
    Laura

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    Sounds a bit sad i know, but a female friend I have asked to go out with me (on a date) probably just to cheer me up, but i dont care at this point, it helped.

  10. #10
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    It doesnt sound sad at all. There is no reason that someone else won't like you and want to spend time in your company whether as a friend or abit more.

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