Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Can't live like this anymore. Feel suicidal. How do you cope?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Can't live like this anymore. Feel suicidal. How do you cope?

    I've lurked the forums for a while now but never posted. I guess everything has come to a point that feels too much to bear.

    I've struggled with this for a few years. I think I started to show symptoms long ago but didn't put it together until it all got bad. I've tried everything I can to fix or keep it from getting worse but nothing helps. I've seen multiple doctors and dermatologists who will just prescribe me something irrelevant (like steroid cream) or look at me for 3 seconds and tell me to live with it. It's been pretty disheartening. I no longer have faith in any doctors and since tried to treat myself. I've tried treating for demodex, tried not washing my face with anything but water, tried a fungal cure, antibiotics, antibiotic gel, MSM and countless supplements and so many other things I lose count. I've changed my whole diet so I basically eat no carbs no sugar, I only drink water, I avoid the sun and still nothing changes.

    I've just reached a point where I see no point in living. My eyes hurt all the time reminding me of this stupid disease. I used to love being outside, I used to love socializing, I used to love my job ( which involves being in front of cameras and with people). Now it all gives me anxiety. I no longer enjoy anything I once loved... I stay shut indoors afraid of the sun, I'm awkward and avoid people out of fear of my ugly face, and dread work and avoid anything to get out of being on camera or around people. I no longer enjoy eating food and I no longer can enjoy a glass of alcohol or a cold beer like I used to.

    I lay in bed every night praying I won't wake up again because I can no longer face the dread of living with this another day. I've become a shell of the person I used to be. I've lost a girlfriend to this, I've lost my life to this... how do you cope when there is no hope in sight and no enjoyment left in life?

    I'm sorry for the negative post, I have no one to talk to. I just really feel like I can't do this anymore and plan to end this. Thank you for everyone who has posted advice and been helpful to others on this forum. I hope you all find peace

  • #2
    erbos,
    We can relate to what is happening.

    Just a couple of questions. How old are you? At what age did you receive your diagnosis of rosacea (or what diagnosis)?

    The psychological ramifications related to rosacea are not only understood by those who suffer from this disease, but also documented that QoL is greatly effected.

    It appears from your list you have tried everything, but the armamentarium to treat rosacea continues to grow, so I doubt if you have tried them all. For example, I don't see on your post any mention of probiotics. Have you tried probiotics? It is important also to eat a healthy diet, get exercise (try walking). You mention prayer so you are on the right track there because a spiritual, positive mental health is also healing.

    The number of items on rosacea in the news continues to increase so it is good to keep up with them.

    Posting your rosacea experience is also a plus. Lurking and never letting anyone know only compounds the problem. I am sure there will be others with suggestions for you, because knowing someone who understands your plight is a comfort.

    If you ever decide to go back to a physician, have you read this post on what to say? Finally, I recommend you go through all the Rosacea FAQs if you haven't.

    Keep us posted on your progress or regression. I will be monitoring this thread.
    Last edited by Brady Barrows; 7 September 2016, 08:24 AM.
    Brady Barrows
    Blog - Join the RRDi


    Comment


    • #3
      Take a look at this case study and you may feel a bit better. This guy has been to hell and looks just like a case of Deadpool.(He's a comic action hero movie charachter for those of you from another planet) It took a lot of tests and false diagnoses before the Doctors finally nailed it. Now he looks like Ryan Reynolds again. If you look anything like Deadpool then I would recommend first off that you take a similar course of oral Ivermectin to the guy in this case study and compliment it with topical Soolantra. No more alcohol. No Gluten. Green smoothy everyday. Vitamin C and D. Stop sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself because a sedentary lifestyle makes everthing worse. And you are going to find the answer. Anyway here's the Deadpool study.http://www.omicsonline.org/open-acce...4-10000298.pdf

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Brady Barrows View Post
        erbos,
        We can relate to what is happening.

        Just a couple of questions. How old are you? At what age did you receive your diagnosis of rosacea (or what diagnosis)?

        The psychological ramifications related to rosacea are not only understood by those who suffer from this disease, but also documented that QoL is greatly effected.

        It appears from your list you have tried everything, but the armamentarium to treat rosacea continues to grow, so I doubt if you have tried them all. For example, I don't see on your post any mention of probiotics. Have you tried probiotics? It is important also to eat a healthy diet, get exercise (try walking). You mention prayer so you are on the right track there because a spiritual, positive mental health is also healing.

        The number of items on rosacea in the news continues to increase so it is good to keep up with them.

        Posting your rosacea experience is also a plus. Lurking and never letting anyone know only compounds the problem. I am sure there will be others with suggestions for you, because knowing someone who understands your plight is a comfort.

        If you ever decide to go back to a physician, have you read this post on what to say? Finally, I recommend you go through all the Rosacea FAQs if you haven't.

        Keep us posted on your progress or regression. I will be monitoring this thread.
        Hi Brady thanks for the response.

        I am a 29 year old male. Had this for about 2 years now but I feel like symptoms started a bit before.

        I work out about 45 min to an hour a day but it gives me anxiety as I feel I might make it worse. I take daily probiotics and vitamins. I'm just not really sure what else to do. It seems to only get worse or like nothing helps. It's quite frustrating

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Rory View Post
          Take a look at this case study and you may feel a bit better. This guy has been to hell and looks just like a case of Deadpool.(He's a comic action hero movie charachter for those of you from another planet) It took a lot of tests and false diagnoses before the Doctors finally nailed it. Now he looks like Ryan Reynolds again. If you look anything like Deadpool then I would recommend first off that you take a similar course of oral Ivermectin to the guy in this case study and compliment it with topical Soolantra. No more alcohol. No Gluten. Green smoothy everyday. Vitamin C and D. Stop sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself because a sedentary lifestyle makes everthing worse. And you are going to find the answer. Anyway here's the Deadpool study.http://www.omicsonline.org/open-acce...4-10000298.pdf
          Thanks for the article. I have added it to the list.
          Brady Barrows
          Blog - Join the RRDi


          Comment


          • #6
            Drugs

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Brady Barrows View Post
              erbos,
              We can relate to what is happening.

              Just a couple of questions. How old are you? At what age did you receive your diagnosis of rosacea (or what diagnosis)?

              The psychological ramifications related to rosacea are not only understood by those who suffer from this disease, but also documented that QoL is greatly effected.

              It appears from your list you have tried everything, but the armamentarium to treat rosacea continues to grow, so I doubt if you have tried them all. For example, I don't see on your post any mention of probiotics. Have you tried probiotics? It is important also to eat a healthy diet, get exercise (try walking). You mention prayer so you are on the right track there because a spiritual, positive mental health is also healing.

              The number of items on rosacea in the news continues to increase so it is good to keep up with them.

              Posting your rosacea experience is also a plus. Lurking and never letting anyone know only compounds the problem. I am sure there will be others with suggestions for you, because knowing someone who understands your plight is a comfort.

              If you ever decide to go back to a physician, have you read this post on what to say? Finally, I recommend you go through all the Rosacea FAQs if you haven't.

              Keep us posted on your progress or regression. I will be monitoring this thread.
              Thanks for the reply Brady,

              I eat extremely healthy and take probiotics daily in the form of capsules and kefir. I also supplement with vitamins/minerals, msm etc. I exercise about 5 days a week for 45 to 90 mins each session although this causes a lot anxiety...I worry it will make my face worse.

              I'm trying to give sulfur soap another go but I feel hopeless. Thank you for caring. I know other members joke on here but appreciate you even wanting to help.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by erebos View Post
                Thanks for the reply Brady,

                I eat extremely healthy and take probiotics daily in the form of capsules and kefir. I also supplement with vitamins/minerals, msm etc. I exercise about 5 days a week for 45 to 90 mins each session although this causes a lot anxiety...I worry it will make my face worse.

                I'm trying to give sulfur soap another go but I feel hopeless. Thank you for caring. I know other members joke on here but appreciate you even wanting to help.
                erebos,
                You are doing what you are supposed to do, eating right, exercise. Keep searching and you will find a way to control your rosacea. Many have reported they have it under control. There is no reason why you won't find what controls your rosacea flares.
                Brady Barrows
                Blog - Join the RRDi


                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Rory View Post
                  Take a look at this case study and you may feel a bit better. This guy has been to hell and looks just like a case of Deadpool.(He's a comic action hero movie charachter for those of you from another planet) It took a lot of tests and false diagnoses before the Doctors finally nailed it. Now he looks like Ryan Reynolds again. If you look anything like Deadpool then I would recommend first off that you take a similar course of oral Ivermectin to the guy in this case study and compliment it with topical Soolantra. No more alcohol. No Gluten. Green smoothy everyday. Vitamin C and D. Stop sitting at home feeling sorry for yourself because a sedentary lifestyle makes everthing worse. And you are going to find the answer. Anyway here's the Deadpool study.http://www.omicsonline.org/open-acce...4-10000298.pdf
                  This is interesting. I've tried treating for demodex many times but maybe I'll try again. I don't drink alcohol, don't eat gluten. Take vitamins and I workout 5 times a week. My lifestyle is actually the opposite of sedentary... I travel amost 9 months out of the year for my job and get to go to some awesome places. But its hard to enjoy any of it. I WANT to live a sedentary lifestyle. I've stayed positive for years hoping to find something but I feel pretty hopeless.

                  Anyways I appreciate taking the time to help. I'm washing with sulfur soap I had right now and trying to lower my stress levels...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    What type rosacea do you have? Which symptom bothers you the most? You said you have eye pain, are they also red and inflamed?
                    I had eye pain as well and it literally tortured me for more than a year. My grades dropped, I hated watching videos in class when everyone else loved it because they caused my eyes to hurt, I could only use computer/phone for like 10 minutes without break. Couldn't enjoy a movie or read a book. Sometimes they even hurt with no apparent reason. My eyelashes fell out more often than before but that's it. No other visible symptom, no dryness, just the pain. Visited two eye doctors, both of them couldn't find anything wrong. I bought eye drops, didn't help.
                    What reduced the pain DRAMATICALLY was just reading this article https://www.painscience.com/articles/pain-is-weird.php I'm not promoting anything, there's nothing really to promote there anyway, it just explains how bodies can hurt without any damage. Since then, next school year has started and I can be a normal student again eye-wise atleast. I still get rosy often or flush, but living without pain is so much easier. I also had weird sensations in certain areas of my face, that have disappeared. They didn't hurt but irritated my peace of mind. I couldn't stand something weird going on on my face. I tried to not think about it but it kept going on.

                    You have to try red light therapy or lasers, or aspirin or benadryl if you have flushing. Also maybe visualise your skin healthier http://www.health.com/mind-body/visu...ion-techniques, there seems to be even some science to back this up! Gotta try it all!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Rory's article is very interesting,because the second time oral ivermectin was given to the patient, the dosage was completely different from what we are used to read. The patient took 3mg of Stromectol every day for 3 weeks.
                      Erebos, if it's difficult for you to find Stromectol, then at least try the cream Soolantra.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        That was truly heart breaking to read, I dont have much advise as I am very new to this but that doesnt mean I dont believe there are ways to overcome this or at least help. I truly hope things get better for you. Just hang on in there.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          The way I cope is by refusing to give up hope. I keep on learning all that I can about this disease and trying every remedy that I see on here that makes sense with the medical knowledge that I have. I keep hope that one day I will go back into remission. It happened to me once for about two weeks. I've heard of very few cases where it was a doctor whose tireless research found something that brought someone a lot of relief. Usually it is the patient doing a lot of research on their own. I'm not saying not to see doctors. Find a doctor who will listen and take you seriously when you take your ideas to them. Find one who will work with you to find relief and make this livable, but know that you may have to do a lot of the research on your own. Most doctors simply don't take the time. They don't have as much at stake in this as we do. I've learned so much from this group and other websites that my derm had no idea about. It was here that I learned about the paleo diet that has helped me so much, for one thing. My derm had a list of about 7 foods that can be triggers in some people. I discovered that the list of potential food triggers is much more vast than that. Feeling helpless is one thing that can make people want to give up and feel suicidal. Put that energy into learning new things that might help. That's what I've been doing and how I cope.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I've just started using virgin coconut oil on my face at night. Wash with a gentle cleanser and put a small amount on your face and rub gently until you aren't shiny anymore. Small amount, a little goes a long way. It feels weird at first, but it started taking the red out by the next morning. I was very impressed. Not sure that it's a "cure" as I've just started using it myself, but I'm going to continue, see what happens.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Brady Barrows View Post
                              Thanks for the article. I have added it to the list.
                              Great work Brady!
                              My rosacea related blog: http://scarletnat.blogspot.com/2012/...edication.html

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X